Why people date other marrieds?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on since ancient times. Affairs can be filled with evils, cause sadness, and other troubles. Plus you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness thing, funds, age dissimilarity, faith upbringing, guilt, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I should define an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, adult dating for merried.
Why do people have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seeking affairs. I suppose mainly though it is just the human condition, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and fun, and sex makes us get away the world for a brief period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody can turn the desire on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos culture has erected against married dating. For lots of individuals the yearnings will overcome their fears and make them risk the wrath of not only their relatives, but the public as well. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is horribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your family or anyone else? You will need to minimize the risk you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the biggest group, gigantic actually. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they are comfortable in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the children to consider. Your assets are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair occasionally solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage whole.
Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a common reason I fear. One or the other, frequently the male is sexually neglecting his lady for a large humber of reasons. As a male I really am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them accessible to us males of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe compassion is vanished, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have just grown distantly, our relulas interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for financial gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.